Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Arcane Birthday Biographies: Tony Dumas

Perhaps somewhere, on a computer made out of championship rings, Robert Horry is cruising the internet, wondering if any intrepid blogger or sportswriter has noticed that it is Big Shot Bob's 39th birthday.

I could only imagine the look on his face if he came upon today's celebration of the onetime great Tony Dumas.

Say what you will about Dumas's lack of success in the NBA.  He was only a starter for one year, and in that one year shot poorly and couldn't crack twelve points a game.  He was a dunker of some note, but lost in the 1995 dunk contest in particularly embarrassing fashion, missing every dunk he attempted.  He was the first man ever to do so, and the last dunk, a simple one-handed tomahawk, was particularly embarrassing.  Gary Payton could be seen on the sidelines, his mouth moving quickly, teeth bared, undoubtedly saturating the air above the court with funny, vile insults.

Today, however, on Tony's birthday, let's remember his successes.  He was one of the greatest scorers in NCAA history (almost 2,500 points), and he played for one of the worst teams in Division I:  The Missouri-Kansas City Kangaroos.

Happy birthday, Tony Dumas.  You were the greatest Kangaroo.

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