My predictions fucking suck sometimes

Thank goodness I'm not a gambling man. I got hosed last night. The Magic lost when I said they'd win, and the Rockets got destroyed when I said they'd destroy. I did peripherally mention that if the Lakers won, it would be the least important game 3 win ever, which I stand by. Otherwise, I don't really have much to say, other than maybe I should delete every column I ever wrote and never talk about basketball again.

Last night I was only able to see Pistons/Magic, and I was struck by one thing: Chris Webber looks atrocious. He looks like Ben Wallace on offense. There was a split second where I actually thought I had been imagining Wallace's departure. He is just (Bill Walton voice) terrible. But somehow the shots go in. I don't think he was tricking Philadelphia earlier this year by sucking, I just think that Detroit is the perfect team where players can flourish (witness Corliss Williamson, Lindsey Hunter, and Zeljko Rebraja's improbably mediocre performances in years past). [This it pretty random, but I just looked up highlights of Corliss Williamon's 1992 All-America performance and found what I think is extremely rare footage of Jason Kidd trying to dunk on a dude like he's imitating Tom Chambers. It's amazing. (Kidd is #32.)]

The game that made me eat my words in the most royal fashion last night was the Jazz/Rockets game. I should have known never to imply that Jerry Sloan was going down without a fight, and his team played inspired defense and held the 'Kets to 67 points (which Yao and McGrady have combined for on a couple of occasions this year).

I don't see Utah stopping Houston like that again, even though JVG does sometimes leave something to be desired on the offensive side of the court. Tracy McGrady played like crap, Yao played okay, but where on earth was the rest of the team? Rafer Alston had more rebounds (7) in 45 minutes than he had points (6) or assists (5). The only thing he did of note was turn the ball over five times. Chuck Hayes, a favorite of mine, spent 25 minutes on the floor, and went 0-2. 0-2! Luther Head, in 24 minutes, missed five shots (three of them three-pointers), didn't take a free throw, and finished with...0! As a matter of fact, the Houston bench played a total of 46:25 and score zero points. The Rockets had no bench points. None.

Compare that to the 33 bench points the Jazz had, and it's easy to see how this thing got out of hand. In the second half, where the Rockets scored as many points (25) as they had scored in the second quarter, Rafer Alston hit a three pointer, Shane Battier had a free throw, and every single other point was scored by Yao Ming or Tracy McGrady. That's almost incomprehensible. I give credit to the Jazz defense, but the Rockets play in Game 3 was so pathetic that they, too, deserve considerable blame for not getting any execution from their role players.

As if to taunt reader Matt Goldstein, who remarked that "Kobe could never put up 15 in the fourth quarter on the way to 38 in the Finals [with the flu]" (or something to that effect), last night Kobe put up 15 in the fourth quarter on the way to 45 in a surprising Lakers win. During the Lakers series it has become abundantly clear that Kobe Bryant is reading this blog, and that the outcome of the game rests on the various comments and jinxings contained therein. Last night we jinxed it. However, no jinx can change the fact that the Lakers are not as good as the Suns, and won't be able to stop them for seven games.

Shawn Marion, who apparently complains a lot because he doesn't get as much publicity as the other guys on the team (namely Nash and Stoudemire), was completely ineffective. He scored 10 points on 4-12 shooting, got four rebounds, and one assist. He made one of three free throws. One thing that's been unreported (as far as I've heard or read) this year is that Shawn Marion's scoring dropped 4.3 ppg this year and his rebounds dropped 2.0 per game. Those are pretty substantial drops for a guy who's playing a lot of minutes. As a matter of fact, Marion's scoring average was the lowest it has been since 2001, his sophomore year in the NBA (and even then, he averaged almost a rebound more per game). It even seems like he's no longer referred to as "The Matrix". I wonder if he's got some problem. [He's not the smartest guy in the universe...]

Tonight we have Raptors/Nets, Bulls/Heat, and Mavs/Warriors on the block.

I'll be stunned if the Heat don't take one tonight. They are a good team, and I think they should be able to defend the Bulls better than they have been (the Bulls are also due for a little cooldown). I am beginning to think I underestimated the Bulls, though; specifically Kirk Hinrich, who is the king bee. We'll see.

I have the Nets winning at the crappiest home arena in the country. I think it will be a close one, but Vince Carter is due to have a big game, and I think he will do so after a couple of moderate-to-heavy stinkers.

Finally, the Mavs will beat the Warriors barring a monstrous performance from Old Dirty Baron. Dirk has been too quiet, and the Warriors can't (and won't) be able to figure out an answer for Josh Howard, who may be the real MVP of the Mavericks come playoff time.

That's all I got for ya. As always, e-mail me at dontgiveupthebasketballblog@gmail.com