Monday, January 29, 2007

War

Dear readers,

Having entered my last post about 20 minutes ago, you may be surprised to see another one so quickly. This is not your ordinary post.

On this day, precisely 81 years after German Zeppolins began bombing Paris, Don't ever give up: The Basketball Blog is going to war. That's correct. I was looking at the blog of that guy with his crappy haircut who loves Gonzaga so much, and it just made me angry. I don't like him. I don't like Gonzaga. I don't like people who claim to be long time fans who are in fact posers. I don't like Connecticut (his home state).

Doing my State of the Storm made me sad, thinking of all the pain loyal fans like me have to go through, and looking at "The Irish Trojan" (you see, he roots for both Notre Dame and USC [his blog is here]) just turned that pain into anger. Vicious, terrible, putrid anger. I am a veritable anger machine. His name is Brendan Loy, and I am writing him an open letter, courtesy of Don't Ever Give Up.


Here is what the enemy looks like. If any of you fine readers sees this jerkoff rooting for the winning team and claiming he's loved them since he was a kid, do whatever damage you feel appropriate. My letter is below, emailed as I write this:


Dear Brenden Roy:

I read your page about your Gonzaga fanship. I believe that you are not in fact a lifelong Gonzaga fan but in fact jumped on the bandwagon and then claimed you were there before the bandwagon. Real basketball fans like myself do not like snotty Connecticut yuppies who try to be cool by being dishonest and sullying one of the greatest sports in the world, basketball. I am especially disgusted by your mockery of college basketball, one of the last citadels of honesty and sportsmanship in a corrupt and depressing world.

Yours truly,
Don't Ever Give Up: The Basketball Blog
dontgiveupthebasketballblog@gmail.com

The war is upon us.

10 comments:

Brendan said...

LOL...

I really hope this post is intended as satire, because otherwise, you're pretty much a giant tool.

As I wrote in response to your comment on my blog, you can believe whatever you want, but the fact is that I’ve been a Gonzaga fan for precisely as long as I claim I’ve been a Gonzaga fan, since 1995.

Here's a question for you. If I were merely a bandwagon Zags fan, why would I still be rooting for them this year, when they aren't very good? Wouldn't I be claiming now to be a lifelong Butler or Nevada fan?

As for the USC and Notre Dame thing, I’ve explained that a million times, but here goes again: I went to USC for undergrad. I now go to Notre Dame for law school. As such, I root for both schools except when they play each other, in which case I root for USC, because as my undergrad alma mater, they have my first loyalty. This is by no means an uncommon situation. At Notre Dame Law School, there are Irish Trojans, Irish Wolverines, Irish Eagles, et cetera. Sane, rational people don’t decide which grad school to attend on the basis of athletic rivalries.

Anyway… I love college basketball. I don't understand why two people who love college basketball should fight over who's the better fan. Can't we all just get along?

JimmyValente said...

Dear Brendan:

I will only believe your excuses if you can offer some photographic evidence of your fanship predating Gonzaga's long run of luck [which of course was created when the president of Gonzaga sold his soul to the devil and his son to michael jackson].

Yours truly,
Don't Ever Give Up: The Basketball Blog

Anonymous said...

Brendan, I have a question...
Why/how/when did you become a Gonzaga fan?
Curious...

Anonymous said...

Ha your such a boob

Anonymous said...

It appears as though you're the boob.

Brendan said...

http://www.brendanloy.com/wiki/index.php/Gonzaga

Brendan said...

Let's try that again, as a link:

http://www.brendanloy.com/wiki/index.php/Gonzaga

That page answers the question about how I became a Gonzaga fan.

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